Salt and Light in Marriage

My husband and I went to Mass this morning…just the two of us. Our teen girls are away for the weekend and when they are gone, we get a bittersweet glimpse into what the days ahead might be like. Sitting there, listening to today’s Gospel reading from Matthew, felt like such a fitting word for us and for all married couples no matter the season you are in right now:

You are the salt of the earth… You are the light of the world… Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father. ~Matthew 5:13-16

Marriage, in God’s design, is never meant to be just a private love story. It is meant to be a witness, a living sign of His faithful love in this hurting world.

Our Bishop Austin Anthony Vetter blesses our marriage in the fall of 2024 at a “Celebrating Marriage” event in our diocese.

My husband and I have been married for over 34 years now, and I can honestly say our life together has held so much of what makes up a real human journey: deep joy, unexpected sorrow, seasons of laughter, seasons of hardship, moments of ease, and moments where we had to cling tightly to the grace of our vows.

One season in particular comes to mind today when I think about what it means to be “salt” and “light” for one another. There was a time when my husband was between jobs for over six months. Those months stretched long, filled with uncertainty and prayer, and the quiet weight that comes when you do not know what the next step will be.

Then, when the right job finally came, it was not simple. It meant him moving 1,000 miles away to Montana… while I stayed behind in Omaha with our five children. We had a house to prepare for selling, a high school student who needed to finish his course work, and a life that could not be packed up overnight.

For three and a half months, my husband came home only every other weekend.

It was hard.

It was lonely.

It required a kind of perseverance we had not expected.

And then came the move itself…starting over in a new place, searching for a home, trying to settle children into new rhythms…all while I was newly pregnant and terribly sick. (That is a story for another day!) That baby, the one I carried through that exhausting and trying season, is now almost 17 years old.

Looking back, I see how much of that time was held together not by our own feeble strength, but by the grace of God. We relied on our faith and the power of the sacrament we share. We prayed together daily, over the phone, even when we did not feel like it, when life was chaotic, and when other things tried to crowd it out.

There was no FaceTime. No texting. The phone was still attached to the wall, and my new little pink flip phone was as basic as it gets. And yet, that daily connection mattered. Even a minute or two of conversation and prayer became a thread that held us together across the miles.

It was worth the time and the sacrifice.

In today’s gospel, Jesus calls us “salt” and “light.” Salt preserves, adds flavor and keeps what is good from spoiling. Light guides our steps, shines in darkness and makes the way visible.

In marriage, we are invited to become that for one another, for our families and for the world around us.

A faithful marriage says something in a culture that often struggles with commitment.

A persevering marriage speaks quietly of hope.

A marriage rooted in Christ becomes a lamp in a dim world.

Not because we are perfect…far from it…but because God is faithful.

Love is never finished and complete; throughout life it changes, matures, and thus remains faithful to itself. ~Pope Benedict XVI, Deus Caritas Est

So, today, on this World Marriage Day, I find myself returning to where we began this morning…sitting side by side at Mass, just the two of us. The church felt a little quieter without our girls. Their absence was a tender reminder that the seasons keep changing, that time keeps moving forward, and that marriage is full of these constant transitions: raising children, letting go, beginning again.

Little did we know, the vows we spoke decades ago were never just about us. They were a call to holiness. A call to love in the ordinary moments and to keep showing up (especially when it is hard). A call to let Christ’s light shine through our imperfect but enduring “yes.”

Salt preserves. Light guides. And a faithful marriage, imperfect but rooted in Christ, becomes a beacon of hope in a world that desperately needs it.

This is the work of a lifetime. And it is worth it.

I hope every married couple is encouraged today: your love is important. Your perseverance is an example. Your witness matters to all who cross your path.

And may we all continue, by God’s grace, to be salt and light…together.

Happy World Marriage Day!

Your sister in Christ,

Katie